one has to live as long as one is not dead

I finished reading the first few works in The Early Ayn Rand. These quotes are all taken from The Husband I Bought, one of her first complete works in english. It was never intended to be published and she said that, 'The motive and purposed of my writing is the projection of an ideal man. The portrayal of a moral ideal, as my ultimate literary goal, as an end in itself. . ."

It makes me think of Birmingham.

"It burns all in you, and still flames, when there is nothing more to burn. . .But then, how happy, oh! how happy I was!"

"But I saw the passionate love in his eyes, the despair that he tried in vain to hide."

". . .when he whispered: "Yes. . .Irene. . .yes," and his lips trembled, I knew that he loved me, that an immense love made his eyes so dark with emotion. . ."

"One is never happy with a passion like this."

"We were married. Some persons say there is no perfect happiness on earth. There was. I was. I could not even call it happiness- the word is too small."

"We could live just for one another, with nothing to disturb us, in the maddest, the wildest of happiness two human beings had ever experienced. The day came, however, when we were obliged to think of the future."

"He would often, in the middle of an important work, lie down on the sofa, his feet on his desk, with some eccentric new book in hand and a current of smoke from his cigarette."

"I never showed him all my adoration. You must not show a man that he is your whole life."

"These things never happen immediately. First, a vague, uncertain thought, a supposition, that made my blood cold. Then a doubt. A desperate fight against the doubt, which only made it stronger."

"There are things, there are moments in life, which you must not speak about."

"Then came a madness. I could not believe it. It was there and it could not enter into my brain. Oh, that awful feeling of everything falling, falling down, everything around me and in me!. . . There were days when I was calm, hysterically calm, and I cried it was impossible. There were nights when I bit my hands till blood. . . And then I resolved to fight."

"One thing was clear and without doubt - he could never be happy with me again."

"I managed to live, somehow. I remember that I read books, lots of books. But I cannot remember a word of them now, their titles or how they looked; not one them."

". . .But I wanted to take a last look at him, the last one before going forever."

"I never think when I work. When I came home-I eat and I sleep. That is all."

"Women, girls, everyone that shall hear me, listen to this: don't love somebody beyond limits and consciousness. Try to have always some other aim or duty. Don't love beyond your very soul. . .if you can. I cannot."