burdens

07.29.2010
visingsö

another rainy day, another update. today tina tried to make katie do more data entry than hans and i since we did almost all of it ourselves last time around, but somehow she still managed to do just barely as much as everyone else. she is a really sweet girl, but her work ethic is going to kill me. talked to nez about art - apparently he grew up with de kooning's daughter in east new york back in the 70s. i mean, holy shit. i went on about my contradictory draw to extremely formal and extremely abstract art and he told me that someone is going to be giving a talk on rothko this weekend on the island! perfection. he said he finds rothko depressing, which i kind of understand - the passion and emotion of his warm palette can be extremely intense...the imperfection and the weight, a weight too great to really be held on a simple canvas. i kind of get it now that i think about it - i've always been drawn to the gravity of his work, but never really associated a particular emotion with my impressions - maybe that is just symptomatic of the perpetual weight i feel; it is never here nor there to assign an emotional value to an ever-present constant.

more lessons about grad school littered throughout the day, along with stories about millsaps past and present. it seems like everyone is colluding to make me an archaeologist...i think i just need to give it some time. i don't have that much time, but some long days of contemplating the advantages and disadvantages of both "separate" careers is in order. plus, i should i talk to mike. being a classical archaeologist would be hard, but if anyone could do it, it would be me. just thinking about summer after summer for the rest of my life being like this one makes me cringe. if anything i should pursue cultural anthropology, not archaeology. just because i am a bright, quick learner and hard worker doesn't mean that what i'm doing at the moment is my calling. i just need to find my place for me.