reasons like seasons, they constantly change

when i stepped out the door today, i immediately reached for my sunglasses - the sun was already so high in the sky, it was blinding. it amazing how light can mimic hope on days like today. not a mile down the road, however, and even the weather was conflicted. bursts of light spread through the cracks of the increasingly gray and sullen sky, energizing while they lasted but overpowered by the hesitant downpour of rain on my windshield. just enough drizzle to merit some recognition, but not enough to wipe away in one fell swoop. it gets under your skin, into your very being...just enough to leave you uneasy inside. settle into the haven of the parking lot, and step after step the wind comes and goes - what change will it bring? one step forward, or one step back?

my mind wanders off from time to time,
sometimes i convince myself
that all is fine in the world
it's not mine, why should i have to try
to fix things i didn't create or contrive?

it is amazing to me how naive individuals truly can be. i cannot wait for today to be over, and i truly wish that people cared this much on any other day of the year. there is so much debate, so much controversy and people go into arguments with their minds closed and memories set to selective. someone who supports mccain-palin will bash obama's inexperience yet believe that palin is the best thing since sliced bread, and vice-versa.

people are not looking at the greater scope of issues or just regurgitate what the media has told them. let's not attack palin's family...because her priorities aren't relevant, right? wrong. let's attack obama for inexperience, but believe in someone whose only experience is running a state smaller than the city of memphis. no one is perfect, but leading yourself to believe that who you want in office is perfect....you are gravely mistaken. there is no perfect choice, but there is a choice that is not fueled by deceit.

and even at the end of the day, if our new president and vice president turn out to be nothing more than figureheads, who do you want representing our nation? someone who is globally respected and will earn our nation that respect it deserves - for living up to our own standards we supposedly pride ourselves on for being forward-thinking and revolutionary - or someone who will do uneducated, middle america religious fringe-worthy individuals proud? please, please, please don't get me wrong. i am not saying that people who support mccain are uneducated or ignorant...but mccain fucked himself over by picking palin - and there are plenty of influential republicans who agree. it is a package deal - obama and biden or mccain and palin, we do not get to pick and choose...or get to selectively ignore half of who you are voting for. what little respect america has been able to salvage on the global front, which is next to none my friends, will be shot to hell if mccain and palin are put into office. we already have so much going against us...why are we going to do this to ourselves?

i was getting my nails done during the five o'clock news, and you could hear everyone holding in their breath whenever the polls were mentioned. you can feel the tension sink into your chest, like one wrong move and we will all wake up from this dream. i only hope that i will not find myself living in a nightmare come tomorrow.

give me something to believe in.