don't go wasting your emotion

" You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice, but now it isn't true"

I forgot how much I loved ABBA as a child. At least Eurovision brought fame to one artist, Celine Dion aside, who is good for more than just a good laugh. As much as I love Kalomira and "Baila El ChickiChicki"....most Eurovision bands don't amount to much.

Well....I do like Boaz, Laka, and Sebastien Tellier for real, but you still get the picture.

I just saw Mamma Mia with my dad and my little sister, and it makes me uncomfortable to sit next to a twelve year old listening to/seeing all those sexual references. She will always be my baby sister to me, and I don't think I will ever be comfortable with that haha. The movie was cheesy, and over the top, and Pierce Brosnan should have just stood there and looked nice with his mouth closed, but I still left with a smile.

ABBA really does remind me of my childhood, and to quote This Providence -

"I miss the days when we were young, innocent, and so naive"

I waste too much time on lost causes. I get my hopes up too much. I'm not asking for anything impossible, I promise I'm not demanding - I just want a chance. My desire is simple, but I think I love beating myself down. Why do I want to know him so much? I really don't know if he could even care less.

I'm going back to Jackson in the morning, I don't know how long I'm going to stick around. I'm supposed to have a hair appointment on Wednesday (I'm going to do something crazy-ish like big blonde chunks or something) but I think I might push it back.

On that girlie note, I really need to get my nails filled. I keep getting solars to try and break my nervous habit of biting my nails, and well, because they look nice, but I have super-human nail growing abilities. My solars are halfway up my real nail now and I got them...not even three weeks ago. Imagine your fingernails getting half their length longer in under three weeks - that's just weird.

I feel like I'm finding my center a little more - maybe it's all the sleep and my I-don't-give-a-shit attitude at the moment, but it's nice. I just don't know how I feel about finding peace when faced with adversity - can I only find solace in my own self-destruction, be it conscious or be it uncontrollable? If so, that's a scary thought.

Oh, I was also disappointed in myself when I realized I know Mobile like the back of my hand...I shouldn't know my way around a town like this. I need a real place to call home, and soon.

P.S. - I changed my song on Myspace again, don't judge me. This song is popping up everywhere in commercials, ads, etc. and I don't know what it is but it just...strikes a chord in me, resonates. I don't like the Bravery, I don't like their music, and they are douche-y coke heads (okay, maybe not all of the members of the band, I was generalizing based on a few of their actions) but I love this song. So sue me.