Those who crafted me, be they gods or demons, crafted this mind that shapes my resistance to their schemes. Surely they were wise enough, at the wheel where I was thrown, to anticipate further resistance in the heart they were abuilding
- Tom Robbins
I don't have any resolutions this year. I hadn't really thought about it, it kind of sneaked up on me. Even when I was celebrating new year's eve with Sarah and some new friends, it didn't seem real at all and the ball drop didn't really phase me. Maybe it was because I wasn't anticipating it, maybe it was because I finished my applications and that felt more final than the first minute, the first day of the new year, maybe it was because I didn't have someone to ring in the new year with. I'm trying to worry less - that is the goal. Now it is just time to wait.
This is the year of waiting. Waiting for application confirmations. Waiting for responses, hopefully for offers. Waiting for my departure (finally) from Millsaps. Waiting for this summer. I don't know where I will be traveling, but I'm just waiting. More importantly, waiting to start the next phase of my life. I will end up somewhere in this country from Denver to Nashville to Ithaca or a number of cities in between and this is what I've been anticipating for years now. A fresh beginning. A chance to do it right and to study and spend my time the way I see fit. My own apartment. My own life. My own place. No more wandering and searching for answers somewhere halfway across the world, and hopefully the only frequent flyer miles I will be acquiring will be in the process of returning home - be it Jackson or Austin. I'm not sure what to expect, but all I can do is wait. Wait and hope.
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