on being lost in an endless sea

of information. there is never any way to ever take everything in, and some days i get really frustrated with the enormity of it all. i was reading a book on photography, and there are so many different treatments, approaches, aesthetics...and i really see the merits, or potential merits, of all of them. there is no way to ever know it all, afford it all, apply it all. it is so overwhelming...and it makes me feel like everything i have done in my life is just a drop in the bucket, but not a revolutionary or substantial drop...or one that even breaks the surface, leaving behind any residual ripples or even a sign that i had been there.

additionally, i read this magazine i picked up on a whim at barnes and noble. i hadn't seen it before (i don't really read magazines, music or otherwise) and between the names on the cover and the art (which really reminds me of my friend rand's work...more an acquaintance than a friend, but we had classes together in high school), i was sold. i really like this magazine, but in searching for a jpeg of the cover, i found this -

http://www.readjunk.com/news/music/skyscraper-magazine-stops-print-production/

damn. that aside, a learned so much from this magazine...and it took me hours to "skim." there were endless pages of album reviews, but not with arbitrary ratings or stars...just simply statement of the facts, background information on the artists (i had NO idea that mstrkrft included jesse keeler), and opinions. no listing, comparing to other artists above or below that album listing, no categorizing, just simple facts. i love that.

i don't want to know who the reviewer thinks i will like if i happen to like this one band they are covering...i want to know what this band is about, or if this is the side project of so-and-so from (insert band name), or how it compares to that bands other albums. the reviewers are honest "i had to tie myself down to listen to this" because they "hadn't liked anything" that band put out since 1995, or whatever. things are "elliot smithian" or "i don't know what this is, it left me confused, but i like it." honesty, people. so refreshing. cold hard facts juxtaposed with (gasp!) personal opinions! not what a blog influenced them to say, or what people in this 'scene' or that 'scene' think, or how pitchfork influenced the buzz around them. i hate that they won't be printing the magazine anymore, but at least it will live on in cyberspace, among the countless other digital sources that are just a few keystrokes away.


so much new music to check out. so much to get ready for the trip.

went to see star trek at the bob bullock museum in imax today. so good. i don't know what i was expecting, really, but it was very entertaining...and the special effects were mindblowing. plus, there was a trailer for the next harry potter movie (which will also be in imax) and i'm so stoked.

somehow i keep fucking things up with you, and i know by the time i get back you won't even remember me. i wish it weren't going to be that way. maybe it won't, but i don't have hope for any other result.